5 Ways to Learn the Art of Self Therapy and Heal After Heartbreak

5 Ways to Learn the Art of Self Therapy and Heal After Heartbreak

Dec 30 , 2024

Introduction

Let’s be honest—heartbreak sucks. It’s the emotional equivalent of spilling coffee on your favorite white shirt while stepping in a puddle and realizing you forgot your umbrella. It’s messy, inconvenient, and sometimes feels like the universe is just having a laugh at your expense.

And while your friends are great for pep talks and the occasional pint of ice cream, there comes a point where you realize no one else can do the healing for you. That’s where the art of self therapy comes in—a fancy way of saying, “It’s time to take care of yourself like the boss you are.”

Now, before you roll your eyes and think, "Oh great, another ‘just love yourself’ article," hear me out. Self-therapy isn’t about slapping on a fake smile and pretending you’re fine when you’re still crying over their old hoodie. It’s about embracing the mess, giving yourself the space to feel all the feels, and then slowly piecing yourself back together—on your own terms. Think of it like spring cleaning, but for your heart and mind.

And the best part? You don’t need a therapist’s couch or a bottomless budget to start. All you need is a willingness to show up for yourself. Whether it’s curling up with some books of self improvement, trying your hand at art therapy, or simply learning to let go of the things that no longer serve you (ahem, like their Instagram account), self-therapy is a customizable, empowering process that’s all about you.

I know what you’re thinking: “Easier said than done, right?” Trust me, I’ve been there. After my last breakup, I spent weeks in what I like to call the "Post-Breakup Bermuda Triangle"—a confusing vortex of overthinking, binge-watching sad movies, and Googling “how to stop crying at 3 a.m.” But then, something shifted. I realized that instead of waiting for someone else to fix me, I had the power to start healing myself. And spoiler alert: you do too.

So, let’s make heartbreak your glow-up season, shall we? In this guide, we’ll dive into 5 practical, fun, and surprisingly effective ways to learn the art of self therapy and come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and maybe even a little grateful for the experience. Whether you’re looking for creative outlets, inspiring reads, or daily practices to keep you grounded, I’ve got you covered.

Because here’s the thing: heartbreak isn’t the end of your story—it’s just a plot twist. And with a little self-love and a whole lot of patience, you’ll be writing your next (better, brighter, completely fabulous) chapter in no time. Let’s get started.

 Immerse Yourself in Self Improvement Reading Aesthetic

When my last breakup left me feeling like I was starring in my own private soap opera, I turned to the one thing I thought might help: books. At first, the idea of self-help sounded like something I’d roll my eyes at. But honestly?

Diving into the self improvement reading aesthetic ended up being one of the best things I’ve ever done. Picture this: a cozy blanket, a mug of tea (with way too much honey), and a stack of books that felt like tiny lifeboats in a sea of heartbreak.

It wasn’t just about reading—it was about creating an experience. I set up a little “healing nook” in my apartment with string lights, candles that smelled like optimism (or so the labels promised), and a pile of books that promised to fix my broken heart—or at least make it hurt a little less.

 

 

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Turning Pain Into a Reading Ritual

The first book I picked up was The Art of Not Caring, and let me tell you—it read me like a book. One chapter in, I came across this line: “What you hold onto often holds you back.” Cue the floodgates. I realized how much of my energy I was wasting clinging to the past, to the “what ifs” and “whys” that weren’t going to change anything.

I grabbed a notebook (my new breakup journal) and started writing down everything I needed to let go of: the late-night texts I missed, the plans we’d made, even the stupid inside jokes that popped into my head at the worst times. Seeing it all on paper felt like I was releasing it, piece by piece.

Next, I reached for Books on Letting Go, which walked me through the emotional process of saying goodbye—not just to the person but to the future I’d imagined with them. It wasn’t easy, but it was cathartic. By the end of the week, I’d started a ritual of spending 30 minutes every evening reading and journaling, and it quickly became the part of my day I looked forward to the most.

 

Books That Felt Like a Warm Hug

There’s something magical about finding the right book at the right time. When I started The Art of Explanation Book, I didn’t expect it to help me understand my own emotions—but it did. There’s a section about breaking down complex thoughts into manageable pieces, and suddenly, my heartbreak didn’t feel like an endless black hole. I could name my feelings, analyze them, and slowly start to let them go.

Then came Books to Read Mindset, which flipped the script on how I saw heartbreak. Instead of treating it like an end, the book reframed it as a beginning—an opportunity to grow, reflect, and create a better version of myself. I started to feel... lighter. Less like I was drowning and more like I was swimming toward something new.

One night, I stumbled upon an art therapy book that suggested combining reading with doodling or journaling. I’m no artist, but I gave it a shot—scribbling random swirls and sad little hearts while reading a chapter on resilience. It felt silly at first, but by the end, I realized I’d found another way to process what I was feeling.

 

Real-Life Example: The “Healing Shelf”

As my reading habit grew, so did my collection of self-improvement books. I created a little “healing shelf” in my living room—filled with everything from Books of Self Improvement to Books for Health and wellness. It became my sanctuary. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or tempted to check their Instagram, I’d grab a book instead.

One day, a friend came over and spotted my setup. “This is so extra,” she said, laughing, “but also genius.” She flipped through The Art of Not Caring and immediately borrowed it. That’s when I realized my little ritual wasn’t just helping me—it was inspiring others too.

 

How It Changed Me

Here’s the thing about immersing yourself in self-improvement reading: it’s not an overnight fix. It’s a gradual process, like watering a plant and watching it slowly bloom. But over time, those books started to shift my mindset. I wasn’t just healing—I was growing.

I let go of the need to “win” the breakup or prove anything to anyone. I stopped checking my phone every five minutes for a text that wasn’t coming. Instead, I poured my energy into learning, reflecting, and creating a version of myself that felt whole again.

By the end of my journey, I didn’t just feel better—I felt empowered. I realized that heartbreak doesn’t have to define you; it can be the catalyst for incredible growth. And if you’re going through something similar, trust me: grab a book, light a candle, and let the healing begin. You’re stronger than you think, and there’s wisdom waiting for you in those pages.

 

 Channel Your Emotions with Art Therapy

When words fail, creativity speaks. Heartbreak can leave you feeling tangled in emotions you can’t quite put into words, but that’s where art therapy comes in. You don’t have to be Picasso or know the difference between watercolor and acrylic—this is about letting your emotions flow onto paper, canvas, or whatever medium feels right. Think of it as emotional decluttering, but with paintbrushes and markers instead of a mop.

 

 

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My First Attempt at Art Therapy

After my last breakup, I was convinced I wasn’t the “artsy” type. My stick figures looked like they were auditioning for a bad comedy, and the last time I used paints was probably in elementary school.

But one particularly tough day, when crying into my third pint of ice cream wasn’t cutting it, I decided to give it a try. Armed with an art therapy book I’d picked up during my newfound obsession with self-help, I grabbed a cheap set of paints and got to work.

The prompt was simple: "Paint what you’re feeling right now." I didn’t think much about it—I just started swirling reds and blacks across the page, letting the colors speak for the frustration, sadness, and anger I couldn’t quite articulate. It wasn’t pretty (okay, it was downright chaotic), but when I stepped back, I felt something I hadn’t felt in weeks: relief.

 

Why Art Therapy Works

Here’s the beauty of art therapy: it bypasses your overthinking brain and taps straight into your emotions. When you’re painting, sketching, or even scribbling wildly, you’re giving your feelings a way to escape without having to explain them. It’s like journaling, but with colors and textures instead of words.

One day, I stumbled across another prompt in my art therapy book that changed the game for me: “Draw what hope looks like.” I started with soft blues and greens, adding little splashes of yellow as I went. By the time I finished, I realized I wasn’t just painting—I was visualizing the possibility of healing. It felt like a breakthrough moment, like I was slowly starting to believe in brighter days ahead.

Real-Life Example: The “Letting Go Collage”

One of my favorite art therapy sessions came from a suggestion in a book on letting go. The idea was to create a collage that symbolized releasing the past and welcoming the future. I grabbed an old stack of magazines, some scissors, and a glue stick, and spent the afternoon cutting out images and words that resonated with me.

I included pictures of sunny beaches (a dream trip I wanted to take), phrases like “new beginnings” and “you’ve got this,” and even a few random doodles of hearts and stars. When I was done, I hung it up in my room as a daily reminder of the life I was working toward. Every time I looked at it, it felt like a small boost of encouragement.

 

Art Therapy for Everyone

You don’t need expensive supplies or a specific plan to get started with art therapy. It can be as simple as grabbing a blank piece of paper and letting your pen or brush do the talking. Feeling angry? Scribble furiously in red and black. Feeling hopeful? Try soft, uplifting colors like yellow and green. Even if it feels silly at first, keep going—you’ll be surprised by how much clarity and relief it brings.

For those who need a little structure, there are some fantastic art therapy books out there with prompts and exercises to guide you. One of my favorites suggested drawing a “roadmap” of my healing journey, with winding paths, detours, and little milestones along the way. It helped me see my progress visually, which was a huge motivator.

 

How It Changed Me

Art therapy taught me that healing doesn’t have to look a certain way. It’s not about being productive or hitting milestones—it’s about giving yourself the space to feel, process, and release. And sometimes, that means getting a little messy (literally).

By the end of my art therapy journey, I had a folder full of colorful chaos that no one else would ever understand—and that was the point. It wasn’t for anyone else; it was for me. It was proof that I’d taken my heartbreak and turned it into something tangible, something I could look back on and say, “I got through this.”

So, if you’re feeling stuck, grab some markers, paints, or even a pack of crayons. Let your emotions take the lead, and see where they take you. Trust me—it’s more freeing than you think.

 

Explore Books to Read Mindset and Find New Perspectives

Heartbreak has a sneaky way of narrowing our focus. Suddenly, everything becomes about them—what went wrong, what they’re doing now, what you could have done differently. It’s exhausting.

That’s why one of the best ways to heal is by expanding your perspective and shifting your mindset. And what better way to do that than diving into books to read mindset that offer fresh insights and inspiration?

Books are like little portals to new worlds and ways of thinking. They challenge your old patterns, introduce you to ideas you never considered, and help you reframe your situation in ways that feel empowering rather than defeating. Trust me, a good book can feel like a lighthouse when you’re lost in the storm of heartbreak.

 

 

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My Journey With Books to Shift My Mindset

When I was deep in the post-breakup blues, a friend handed me a copy of The Art of Not Caring and said, “This book saved my sanity. Read it.” Skeptical but desperate, I flipped it open and was instantly hooked.

One chapter in, the book had already called me out on my tendency to overthink and dwell on things I couldn’t control. “Why are you giving free rent in your head to someone who’s not paying the bills?” it asked. And honestly? That hit hard.

Reading became my nightly ritual. I’d curl up in my “healing nook” with a cup of chamomile tea and devour chapters about resilience, self-worth, and the power of letting go. Each book I picked up felt like a conversation with a wise, non-judgmental friend who understood exactly what I was going through.

The Mindset-Shift Game Changers

Some books didn’t just help me cope—they transformed the way I saw myself and the world around me. Books on Letting Go taught me that healing isn’t about forgetting; it’s about making peace with what happened and moving forward with grace.

One exercise asked me to write down what I’d gained from the relationship instead of what I’d lost. At first, it felt impossible. But as I sat there with pen in hand, I realized how much I’d learned—about love, boundaries, and what I truly wanted in a partner.

Then there was The Art of Explanation Book, which helped me break down my emotions into manageable pieces. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the mess of feelings swirling in my head, I started asking myself, “What’s the root of this sadness? What am I really grieving?” Answering those questions gave me clarity and made the healing process feel less daunting.

 

Why Perspective Is Everything

One of the biggest lessons I learned from these books is that heartbreak isn’t the enemy—it’s a teacher. Cheesy? Maybe. But hear me out. When I read Books to Read Mindset, there was a line that stuck with me: “Every setback is a setup for a comeback.” It reminded me that this wasn’t the end of my story—it was just a plot twist.

I started to see the breakup not as a failure but as an opportunity to rediscover myself. What did I want to do with my life now that I had all this free time? Who was I outside of the relationship? Books about mindset encouraged me to embrace these questions instead of fearing them.

 

A Personal Breakthrough Moment

One night, while reading a chapter on gratitude in Books of Self Improvement, I decided to try an exercise it suggested: writing a list of things I was grateful for, even in the midst of heartbreak. At first, I struggled.

What could I possibly be thankful for right now? But as I forced myself to reflect, I started to realize how much support I had—friends who showed up with ice cream, family members who listened to my endless rants, even the newfound time to focus on myself.

That simple exercise flipped a switch in my brain. I started to see my situation through a lens of growth and possibility rather than loss. And honestly? It felt like a weight had been lifted.

 

How to Get Started

If you’re ready to shift your perspective, start by exploring some highly recommended reads. Books on letting go are a great place to begin, as they’ll help you release the emotional baggage that’s holding you back. From there, dive into books of self improvement that challenge your current mindset and push you toward growth.

For those who need a little extra inspiration, try something like Books for Health or wellness to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. Or, if you’re in the mood for something lighter yet equally impactful, pick up a copy of The Art of Not Caring. Trust me, it’s like a permission slip to stop worrying about things that aren’t worth your energy.

 

Why It Works

The power of books lies in their ability to expand your horizons. When you’re stuck in a loop of heartbreak, they remind you that there’s a whole world of possibilities waiting for you. They help you see beyond the pain, gain new perspectives, and rediscover your strength.

So, the next time you’re feeling stuck, grab a book. It might not solve everything, but it will give you the tools and inspiration to start seeing things differently. And sometimes, a fresh perspective is all you need to take that first step toward healing.

 

Create a Ritual of Letting Go

Letting go sounds simple in theory, doesn’t it? But in practice, it can feel like trying to pry your fingers off a rope tied to all your emotions, memories, and dreams. That’s why turning the act of letting go into a meaningful ritual can be so powerful. It’s not just about saying goodbye—it’s about symbolically releasing what no longer serves you and making room for new beginnings.

Creating a ritual of letting go isn’t as woo-woo as it sounds. In fact, it can be deeply grounding and personal, a way to mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. It’s like a breakup graduation ceremony, except instead of a diploma, you get your peace of mind back.

 

 

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My First Letting-Go Ritual

I’ll never forget my first “letting-go ceremony.” After a particularly rough breakup, I was tired of feeling like my ex’s ghost was haunting me. I’d stumbled across a suggestion in a book on letting go, which encouraged writing a letter to the person you’re releasing—one you’ll never send—and then physically getting rid of it.

So, one rainy Sunday afternoon, I sat down with a pen and notebook and poured my heart out. I wrote everything I’d been holding onto: the good memories, the disappointments, the “what-ifs.” By the time I finished, I felt emotionally drained but lighter, like I’d finally put into words what had been weighing me down.

Next came the dramatic part: burning the letter. (Pro tip: if you’re going to try this, do it somewhere safe. Fire pits, sinks, or supervised outdoor spaces are your best bet!) Watching the paper curl and turn to ash felt strangely liberating, as though I was releasing all that emotional clutter into the universe.

 

Why Rituals Work

Rituals work because they give your emotions a physical outlet. Heartbreak is often an abstract, overwhelming thing, and rituals help make it tangible and manageable. They create a sense of closure and give you a specific moment to say, “This is where I begin to move forward.”

One of my favorite rituals came from another art therapy book, which suggested creating a “memory box” for things you’re not ready to throw away but don’t want to see every day. I took all the little mementos—concert tickets, photos, even that dumb keychain we bought together—and put them in a small box. I sealed it with tape, labeled it “For Later,” and tucked it in the back of my closet. It was my way of acknowledging the past without letting it dominate my present.

 

Other Letting-Go Ritual Ideas

Not into burning letters? That’s okay—there are plenty of other ways to create a letting-go ritual that fits your personality.

  1. A Goodbye Walk: Go for a long walk in nature, imagining that each step you take is a step away from the past and toward a new beginning. Bonus points if you listen to a playlist of empowering songs like Beyoncé’s Break My Soul.

  2. A Water Release: Write down what you’re letting go of on small pieces of paper, then toss them into a river or ocean. Watching the water carry your words away can feel surprisingly symbolic.

  3. A Donation Day: Gather items that remind you of your ex—clothes, gifts, knick-knacks—and donate them to charity. Turning your heartbreak into someone else’s joy is a win-win.

 

My Biggest Letting-Go Moment

For me, the most impactful ritual was a combination of writing, music, and movement. After reading a passage in The Art of Not Caring, I decided to put my own twist on a “letting-go dance party.” I made a playlist of songs that mirrored my emotions—starting with sad, reflective tunes and ending with upbeat anthems.

I started by journaling everything I was ready to release, then stood in front of my mirror and read it out loud. (Yes, I felt ridiculous, but bear with me.) Finally, I hit play on my playlist and danced like no one was watching. By the time the final song (Shake It Off by Taylor Swift, obviously) played, I was laughing, sweating, and genuinely feeling lighter.

 

The Power of Personal Rituals

The beauty of letting-go rituals is that they’re deeply personal. They don’t have to be elaborate or follow a specific formula. What matters is that they resonate with you and help you release the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying.

Whether it’s writing a letter, creating art, or even just taking a symbolic deep breath, these rituals serve as a bridge between the past and the future. They remind you that you’re allowed to move on—that it’s okay to leave behind what no longer serves you.

So, light a candle, write a letter, take a walk—whatever feels right. And as you let go, remember: the act of releasing isn’t about forgetting; it’s about freeing yourself to grow, heal, and embrace whatever comes next.

Make Self Therapy a Daily Practice

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about healing, it’s that it doesn’t happen overnight. Sure, there are moments of clarity or breakthroughs that feel life-changing, but real growth comes from consistency. That’s why learning the art of self therapy is all about creating daily habits that nurture your mind, body, and soul.

Think of self-therapy as a love letter to yourself—one you write every single day. It’s not about grand gestures or life-changing epiphanies (though those are nice when they happen). It’s about the little things you do consistently, the small choices that add up to something much bigger over time.

 

 

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The Power of a Morning Routine

When I first started my self-therapy journey, my mornings were... chaotic, to say the least. I’d snooze my alarm three times, scroll through social media until I felt miserable, and eventually drag myself out of bed with zero motivation. It wasn’t exactly a recipe for healing.

Then I read a chapter in Books to Read Mindset about the importance of intentional mornings, and it completely changed my perspective. The author suggested starting each day with something that sets a positive tone—whether it’s journaling, meditating, or reading. Inspired, I created a simple morning routine that I still swear by:

  1. Gratitude journaling: Every morning, I jot down three things I’m grateful for. Some days it’s deep stuff (“I’m grateful for the people who love me”), and other days it’s silly (“I’m grateful for coffee and sweatpants”).

  2. Reading self-help books: Even just 10 minutes of a good book of self improvement helps shift my mindset for the day.

  3. Mindful movement: Whether it’s yoga, a quick walk, or just stretching while I brush my teeth, moving my body reminds me that I’m alive and capable.

These small practices didn’t just help me heal—they gave me a sense of control and purpose, even on the hardest days.

 

Evening Reflections

Nighttime is often when heartbreak hits the hardest. It’s quiet, you’re alone with your thoughts, and suddenly every sad song feels like it was written specifically for you. That’s why I made self-therapy part of my evenings too.

Inspired by Books on Letting Go, I started a reflection journal where I’d write down three things I’d accomplished or felt proud of that day. Some nights, the entries were simple (“I went for a walk, and I didn’t cry during that song”). Other nights, they were deeper (“I realized I deserve a partner who truly values me”).

I’d also spend a few minutes reading something uplifting, like The Art of Not Caring, to help quiet my mind before bed. These small rituals turned my evenings from dreaded lonely hours into moments of peace and self-discovery.

 

Find What Works for You

The beauty of self-therapy is that it’s completely customizable. Maybe you’re not into journaling or reading, and that’s okay! Your version of daily self-therapy could look completely different. Some ideas to try:

  1. Meditation: Apps like Calm or Headspace are great for starting a meditation practice, even if you’ve never tried it before.

  2. Creative hobbies: Painting, knitting, baking—anything that feels therapeutic and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

  3. Affirmations: Stand in front of the mirror and speak kind words to yourself. (Yes, it feels weird at first, but it works!)

  4. Self-care routines: A nightly skincare ritual or a luxurious bath can be just as healing as any book or journal.

The key is to find practices that resonate with you and make them part of your daily life.

 

A Real-Life Example: The “Daily Check-In”

One of the most effective self-therapy practices I’ve adopted is a daily check-in with myself. Every evening, I ask myself three questions:

  1. What went well today?

  2. What could I improve?

  3. What’s one thing I’m looking forward to tomorrow?

This simple exercise, inspired by a chapter in The Art of Explanation Book, helps me stay connected to my progress without feeling overwhelmed. It’s a gentle reminder that even on tough days, there’s always something to celebrate and something to work toward.

 

Why Daily Practice Matters

Healing is a journey, not a destination. It’s a series of small, consistent choices that eventually add up to big changes. By making self-therapy part of your daily routine, you’re reminding yourself that you’re worth the effort—and that’s a powerful thing.

So, whether it’s journaling, meditating, reading, or dancing around your living room to your favorite song, find the practices that bring you joy and make them a priority. Over time, those little habits will transform not just your heartbreak but your entire outlook on life.

Because here’s the truth: you’re not just surviving heartbreak—you’re growing into a stronger, wiser, and more resilient version of yourself. And that’s something worth celebrating every single day.

 

 

Wrapping It All Up

Heartbreak is messy, complicated, and downright exhausting—but it’s also one of life’s greatest teachers. When you take the time to explore the art of self therapy, you’re giving yourself the gift of healing, growth, and self-discovery. It’s not about rushing the process or pretending everything’s fine; it’s about meeting yourself where you are and taking small, meaningful steps forward.

 

 

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Whether you’re diving into the comforting world of self improvement reading aesthetics, pouring your emotions into art therapy, or practicing the delicate but powerful act of letting go, every effort you make is a step closer to reclaiming your peace. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not always pretty, but with the right tools and mindset, it’s absolutely possible.

Remember, heartbreak doesn’t define you—it transforms you. It’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself, set healthier boundaries, and discover what truly brings you joy. You’re not just mending a broken heart; you’re building a stronger, more compassionate version of yourself.

So, light that candle, grab a book, scribble your feelings, or take a deep breath and let go. Your healing journey is yours alone, and no one else gets to decide how you navigate it. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and trust that brighter days are ahead.

And when those brighter days come? You’ll look back on this time not with sadness, but with pride in how far you’ve come. Because you didn’t just survive heartbreak—you turned it into a masterpiece of growth and self-love.

For more tips, book recommendations, and empowering insights, check out our blog. Your next chapter is waiting—go write it.